By Kary Pekarek, LCSW

 A Series on Upgrading Your Mental Health!

Our expert therapists and leadership have shared some of their most effective tips on how to upgrade and prioritize your general well-being. Integrating any of these tips into your daily life will take intentionality, practice and patience. Creating a new habit or routine begins by making a commitment and then persevering. Often, it’s one step forward and one step back. Focus on progress and not perfection. The benefit is worth the effort!

Kary Pekarek has over 15 years of experience working with children, adolescents and adults with a variety of mental health needs. She is the Director of the Clinical Training Program and has 3 teenagers of her own.

Do you have teenagers in your house? Look at our tips for ways to connect with your teenager(s) while maintaining your sanity. Learn new ways to relate and develop a stronger relationship. Here are a five ways to help upgrade your relationship with your teenager(s).

1. Give them privacy: Their room is a sacred place. Unless safety is a concern, always knock and wait for them to give permission to enter. This shows you respect their privacy and that you trust them to make good choices. Raising a healthy, trustworthy and independent teen means honoring their need for privacy.
2. Pick your battles: They are going through significant changes physically, mentally and emotionally. A few free passes here and there for dishes left in their room, laundry on the floor, or a disrespectful tone can make the world of difference for a teen.
3. Learn to really listen: When your teen wants to talk, stop what you are doing and pay attention to what they are saying. Let them vent, complain and express their feelings. Echo back what they are saying but don’t try to fix things for them. If they feel heard and understood, they are more likely to ask for advice.
4. Use humor appropriately: Using humor to deescalate a situation or to cope can be useful, but teasing your teen can be damaging to your relationship. Making fun of or putting down your teen can also cause low self-esteem, lack of confidence and self-worth.
5. Be authentic: You are a role model for them to learn how to handle themselves. Lying about your negative emotion teaches them to hide those emotions. Teens that see emotions appropriately expressed feel supported and free to express their own range of emotions. Give your teen the space to feel their negative emotions and help them develop coping strategies. Apologize when you have made a mistake and ALWAYS emphasize your unconditional love.

Learn more about Kary Pekarek here.